What is Forgiveness?

Of all the people on the planet, Christians should be experts at forgiveness. We should be able to speak about it, explain it, define it, and most importantly, offer it! Why? Forgiveness is the cornerstone virtue of the Christian faith. In Christ, we are completely forgiven by the Father for all of our sins, past, present, and future. As forgiven people, Christians should be forgiving people. At least, you’d think that should be so.

The parable of the unforgiving servant is in Matthew 18:21-35. In that parable, the primary matter that Jesus taught was that we should forgive as our Father in heaven has forgiven us. The question, then, is how does he forgive? In the parable, the king represents the Father and the indebted servant represents you and I. The servant’s debt was impossible to pay. The footnote in my Bible says that a talent is roughly twenty years of wages for a common laborer. Jesus said this servant owed 10,000 talents. You do the math. It’s an astronomical debt.

What does the king do? After the servant begs for more time, out of compassion and mercy, the king forgave his debt.

Stop there.

What does that mean for the king? First, it means that he absorbed the debt. Forgiveness doesn’t make debt disappear. Somebody has to pay. This astronomical debt went from the servant’s ledger, to the king’s ledger. The person who forgives is intentionally absorbing the cost. That makes trite sayings like “let it go” seem silly. The one who is forgiving isn’t letting go of anything. This king is incorporating the debt of his servant into his life so that the servant can be free. But that’s not all.

By forgiving his servant, the king is restoring him to a citizen in good standing. So the king, who just absorbed his servant’s debt, now looks at the servant and says, “You and I are good.” Do you feel the weight of this? The king is bearing one hundred percent of what should’ve happened to the servant. The servant should’ve been made to pay. He should’ve been sold into slavery and forced to work off his un-payable debt. Now the king has said, “I’ll pay, and whatever the consequences are of paying this debt, I’ll bear them. You go be a free man. We are good.”

This is what it means to forgive. You absorb the cost. You bear the penalties and burdens. You free the person who is indebted to you and restore them to a right relationship with you. This is a gift to the offender. They can’t earn it. It must be given by the offended, freely without cost to the offender.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, this is exactly what Christ has done. On the cross, He paid the debt of our sins against the Father on our behalf. He makes us free men and women who are in right standing with the Father. And all we must do is believe in Him to be saved (Romans 10:9-10).

Now, what happens next? The servant choked and imprisoned someone who owed him money. He didn’t learn anything from the generosity of the king. He was only concerned with himself. When the king hears of this, he calls that servant back to his court and sends him to prison, saying…

“You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” Matthew 18:32-33 (ESV)

Jesus finishes the parable with an admonition that the Father will do this to anyone who doesn’t forgive his brother from his heart. In other words, forgive as you have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). Does Jesus’ words mean that if we fail to forgive as the Father forgives that we’ll lose our salvation? No. If you aren’t forgiving as you’ve been forgiven, it’s possible, perhaps even likely, that you’ve never been born again. Remember what I said earlier? Of all peoples, Christians should know how to forgive. The one who cannot forgive has likely not been forgiven.

Of course, like many things in the Christian life, we grow in our capacity to forgive. At the beginning, we may have a deep desire to forgive, but we don’t know how to do it yet. That’s fine. But if you’re twenty years separated from your sinner’s prayer and still unable to forgive, you likely have never been born again. Believers get new hearts and new spirits when we’re born again. Along with that comes a deep desire to love the LORD and be like Him. Everyone who walks in the light with Him will want to forgive and will grow in their ability to do so.

Do you forgive like He has forgiven you?  Do you know how to absorb the cost of the offense? Do you know to free your offender? No one is perfect at it, but can you say that today you’re better at it than you were a year ago? Maybe you’ve been able to do this. Can you do it again for the same person? Can you do it for the same person seventy-seven times?

Only by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in you. Walk in the light with Jesus. Be filled with and led by the Holy Spirit. If you’re doing that, you’ll grow in your capacity to forgive. It’ll never be easy. The flesh is always against the Spirit (Galatians 5:17). But, since when has putting the flesh to death ever been easy? Kill the flesh. Forgive as He has forgiven you. Be like Jesus.